Did your boyfriend break up with you? Now you're going through a tough time. You may be hurting and you want to know what caused the break up.
An important note here, do not use this time to do a lot of introspection and trying to decide where you are in your life. He has his own issues to deal with and there's the true source of the reasons your boyfriend decided to breakup with you. That's why the saying, "it's not you, it's me," is sometimes very true.
If you want to try to patch things up and get your boyfriend back, keep the following in mind:
* Don’t pester your ex – when your boyfriend breaks up with you, it means that you have more limited access to him. So be sure you don't text or call him a lot.
* It’s okay to flirt with other guys in his presence. Flirting with other people could work to your advantage and make him want you back more.
* When you do get back together for a "trial date" be friendly and cheerful. This is not the time to pressure him for more than he feels he can handle. Oh yes, don't flirt with other people while you are on your date.
Find out more about saving and rebuilding your relationship.
But, if you have a feeling in your gut that the relationship is over when your boyfriend breaks up with you, then you need to start moving on.
Many women find that writing a long, heart felt letter where you pour out all your feelings helps. You can talk about the good times and bad. If you have anything hurtful to tell him, this is when you should write it all down.
Whatever you do, don't mail the letter! Get a candle and burn it. This is a good way to get a feeling of closure after a break up.
With that done, you need to set up a time and place for the two of you to do a property exchange. Give him back the t-shirt that you love to sleep in. Return any books you may have borrowed. If there are things like toothbrushes that are too trivial to exchange, throw them away. Put away anything that reminds you of him. If you have gifts that he gave you, box them up for the time being. If you have any financial issues to deal with such as a joint checking account, a co-signed loan, etc, get them worked out.
After you have completed the property exchange, agree that you won’t have any communication for 30 days. This can be especially hard if you're used to seeing each other daily.
It hurts a lot when a boyfriend breaks up with you. While it can be painful, a breakup with your boyfriend is not the end of your life. Even if the breakup is permanent, there is some positive in it. You are now free from a relationship that didn't and you can now find your true soul mate.
There's no need to be hasty in jumping into your next relationship. Just because the door has been closed doesn't mean that it cannot open again. If you think you have a shot of winning him back and that’s something you want, you should by all means take the opportunity to do so.
True love can overcome a lot of things, including a breakup.
Robert Bates runs the website Mending Relationships, a website dedicated to helping people rebuild and strengthen their relationships.